Sun Seed Community Podcast
Sun Seed Community Podcast
S2E1 Rest and the Black Body
We begin our second season resting with Christina, Onika, and Windafire of Black Dream Escape. Join us as we talk about what it means to reclaim rest as Black people, and have grace and love for ourselves within our own rest practices. Rest is your birthright, so lay yo ass down.
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EPISODE REFERENCES
The splooge Factory by Christina Springer
MUSIC BY: Onika of Black Dream Escape
PRODUCED BY: Goddess and Vesta
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Blessings fellow weird and wild ones. My name's goddess AKG, AKA your friendly neighborhood, which they them, their pronouns, please. And thank you. Point blank, period. Thank you for joining me in the practice of finding our way back to wholeness. This is our temple, our playgrounds, our life and our truths. During our audio session together, I will be talking with my village on how we are healing, changing paradigms and decolonizing and de gendering. The mind you are not alone, you are enough. Let's plant these divine seeds together. This work is for the collective from me, Brandon, Brenda Kay, and Vesta. And there's a lot of magic that goes on behind the scenes. Find ways to support and it really suppressed. Suffocate all the co-creators on the show at the links Buller, grab your pens and paper, grab your woes and let go.
Speaker 2:[inaudible]
Speaker 3:Good. Rains is a proud dirt child. Home grown out of the weeds of youngsters in Ohio. She is a therapist by day and arrest doula by night on a couple of years in abolition, in the complexity of all people and in her, right for rest as a black indigenous queer, when Defiers a 17 year old healing artist who uses music, fashion magic, and meditation's his first single alive with pride produced by Liz Berlin, their creative life support how to save you as an opening act for big Frida at people's pride Pittsburgh in 2019, he's an active co collaborator with rest doula. Anaqua rains on black gym escape, which is a monthly art installation, centering black sleep and rest by using original meditations and lullabies. They Sue the unrest through a live expression of our own rest practices. He is also an active member of dreams of hope and an intern with youth express. And then finally we have the Eleazar Christina Springer. Isn't all black artists who use his text performance video and other visual expressions. Her first fourth collection of poetry. This BlueEdge factory, it was
Speaker 4:Released by frayed edge press in November, 2018, San Jose Dayton and Pittsburgh recently exhibited futuristic relics and motherboard sacred, a collection of 80 paintings fabric, mixed media objects and texts from a museum of our black utopian womanness feature. Springer serves as the resident elder for black doom escape cave. Kanombe shaped her voice spring resides in Pittsburgh where she home educates her son. Welcome Kovic con thank you. Can you say that one more time? Because a condom have a condom.
Speaker 5:It's fine. I messed it up in one of our own interviews.
Speaker 4:I always need to like check my, like the bios before I read them. And I did not this time. So thank you for that, even though everybody does it and it's fun. It's Latin, it's Latin and it's a Covey condom as a home for black poetry that was started by Cornelius Eady and toy Derika and, uh, and they got their inspiration for, uh, the name from the tile at Pompei of that black dog breaking off its chain. And it says Kabe condom beware of the dog. Ah, okay. Now I understand you're always breaking off the break and breaking the chain. Yeah. With our big barks loud and proud. I love it. I love it. Um, this is the first time that I've had more than just one guest on the show at once. So this is exciting and I'm so honored that you all took time out of your days and your practices and, um, black dream escape to be here now. So thank you so so much. Um, before we get started, um, there's just a couple of things that we always do here on the census. Um, and the first thing is we share our pronouns and the race or ethnicity in which we embody. So, um, I'll start. My name is goddess and I am black bodied and I use they them, their pronouns,
Speaker 5:I guess I'll go next. Um, I'm when to fire, I use all pronouns and on my mom's side, I I'm, I'm black, I'm black all the way around, but on my mom's side, I have Panamanian
Speaker 4:360 degrees.
Speaker 6:Okay, thanks. I am arnica. I use she, her and they then interchangeably, uh, was born from a black mother who raised me and I consider myself a lost native. My father is Denae and white. Okay. Um, my, I am Christina Springer and I use she her pronouns, but whatever makes anyone comfortable is good with me. Um, I, I actually have a definition for black. Um, I consider them, I am black like, like when to fire a hundred percent, all the ways around, but all that black embraces my ancestors when they arrived from Panama and Barbados in a to box America, which only left open spaces for black or white, it rejects the simulation. It celebrates the refusal of white supremacy. It claims our African forebears. It chooses solidarity with blackness sometimes at our own expense. It remembers recalls and recollect all black centers, my blackness while leaving room for my many layered identity.
Speaker 5:Thank you for that definition. Um, it reminds me of, uh, uh, a previous episode of the TBN when they were describing, um, the complexities of which, um, how they define their blackness. Um, and I think there is so much more room for, um, acknowledging the ways in which our blackness is multifaceted. So thank you for saying that someone told me the other day, I'm an elder in our own community of, um, you know, our nationality is really just depends on where the boat decided to stop. I was like, whew, that hit a really, really hit. Um, and then our check-in for the day is, um, at this moment, what is your body telling you about your state of rest? And I guess we can go in just the same order too. I'll go at the, at the end though. Okay. So the day, what my body is telling me is that I need to fix this COVID sleep schedule that I've, that I've gotten for myself and get back into the normal, normal routine that I usually have and get some rest than what I've been
Speaker 4:Getting on average,
Speaker 6:My body is telling me that it's been working hard. And so I feel settled because I've been able to put my energy somewhere, um, all week and that shoulders are a little tense cause I've started weight training. So I'm feeling that right now, fill in a little tension, but also pretty settled and comfy on this couch. My body is, is, is pretty tired and it needs a lot more rest. Um, it's been a very, very busy week. Uh, there's been a lot to get done and the body remembers everything. And my body is spending a lot of time this week. Um, reminding me of all the times I did not stop and rest when I was in my twenties and thirties and live in my wildlife, Inviting me to, uh, to, uh, contemplate, revisiting the idea of spending a little bit more time, focusing on being quiet.
Speaker 4:Um, my body is telling me that it could use a lot more rest today as well coming into the fall season, which I feel like it happened faster than I was expecting, um, is really grounding for me. But, um, over the past week, there's just been a lot of, um, tumultuousness and shifts with, um, other things in my life. And so just really taking the time, like you were saying, Christina, with just like being silent. And also when I agree with you with like getting back into, uh, a regular schedule or like, um, uh, uh, a loving routine of like when I sleep and like how I prepare myself to go to sleep, um, it feels really important. So my body's a little achy right now, especially in the hips. Um, but I feel also like settling into my groundedness as we start this conversation. So yeah. Thank you for that check in y'all. So, um, I'm trying to think of like the best way to kind of navigate having four people on whoever I think it will just happen naturally. So free filled of flow, like we're out at a family gathering. Um, so what were some of the pivotal moment in which your life, um, in your life where you remember deep rest poco? First, I look to my childhood for a lot of the foundation is arrested. I go by now. So I'm thinking about the way which I like to play when I was younger, was just out in the woods or in nature. And like you said, God has him, uh, um, my bio, I grew up in Youngstown, Ohio, and it's supposed to be a city, but it's very rural and there's just like a lot of open space. So my core definition of deep breaths comes from me just being out amongst like tall grass and spending hours out that way, just doing pretty much nothing, looking at the grass, eating it, um, experience it, it has, um, I don't know about like eight, nine years old until I moved to Pennsylvania, um, in my teens. So I, I looked to those times in those fields and, um, just like going through all the senses of nature of like a form of deep breaths and as an adult and I started doing healing work with joy commit, she would always emphasize drinking waters, especially have the crying or after a session with her I'm in those moments, I felt deep breasts cause I never really understood the hydration or how important it was to be hydrated through all these transitions. So, um, for me, it was like transitioned to a person in healing versus like my struggling or transitioning through a new job and even daily just going through the motions of our days. Um, water's just become so key in a moment of deep breasts for me also, I think those are the two moments being in the field. Um, my time, um, drinking water. Well, Julie, uh, when you were talking about, um, transitioning from being in suffering to being in a space of healing, do you feel like that shifts, um, and intention, um, do you feel like that allowed for more rest or at least a sense of what you need for rest? I think it turned on a switch for me and that the healing felt more like work and a lot of unrest. And so once I started going beyond like just at first, like identifying what exactly I'm healing from and trying to move into the path of just like maintenance, um, that the, I guess like couple of months of taking that class and looking at myself and, um, the, the way you should or could, when you are trying to, um, like stop these lies that you might be telling yourself that there are a couple years, um, all of that is difficult work and it, it led me restless. And so after I got through that stage, I needed to think about how I could give myself a break from doing all of that work. Um, because after awhile, when, um, I became independent in my healing and try to do some of the reflection work on my own, um, and that also just started becoming judgmental about, uh, in what way I was healing. And so I went to rest to stop that judgment and to, um, give myself more time for this healing journey, uh, this, this fight, like this poor to rush through it and kind of, um, give myself a deadline on like how I'm going to be different, something of that nature.
Speaker 5:Yeah. Yeah. So a moment of deep rest for me is, um, my mom, um, my mom, our resident elder has always made sure that in my childhood I have been very rested, um, for as long as I can remember since I was a child, I have been, it has been very hard for me to go to sleep. I rest in very different ways. I don't necessarily rest through sleep. So that is one of the ways that I do get a lot of press, but it has always been hard for me to, to go to bed and go to bed at a set time. Um, so time when I have felt like a really big moment of big breasts, even though I'd been resting for all my whole life is, um, when my family and I went to a family reunion in Barbados, um, or we touched down in Barbados in the Caribbean, it was such a beautiful thing to me because it's such a beautiful feeling to be where your ancestors were, where your ancestors lived, where, um, they ate, where they, where they made friends, um, where they found each other, where it's nice being in the land where, where, where your ancestors, where I feel a lot. And I don't know, it's really nice being close to that close to the ocean. The ocean is so beautiful there, it was such a restful moment being back because I was thrown by family. I was drawn by ancestors. I was surrounded by the ocean. Um, and that was a moment of really deep breaths. I feel for me. And it was really, it was really liberating. I feel going to a place where it was a majority of black people instead of seeing, um, a majority of white people there around,
Speaker 4:Yeah. I like arnica, like connecting back with, um, the land seemed strong there too.
Speaker 6:Mmm.
Speaker 4:You and I love how you brought up that rest. Doesn't have to look like sleeping or being in our bed, but like rest practices can continue
Speaker 6:And other ways, um, throughout our daily lives. So I guess, um, moments that I have been when I was younger, when I was young, I was a championship ReSTOR. And, uh, uh, and I, uh, I was, I was the kid who really did not actually like to go outdoors because I liked my books and I found my books very restful. And so I would curl up and, and live inside of a novel. Um, and that to me was restful. Um, and so I was often put outside with my books, uh, and I really loved that as well. Um, and I, as a child, loved nap time, more than anything in the world. And, uh, so, uh, they were always making me get up from that time because I loved it. Um, and as I grew older, I needed to function in the world as a, as a young adult, which meant that I was not as rested as I wanted to be. And, um, and had to make, figure out a way to work with that and found meditation as a, uh, as a restful thing of just sitting. And I would sit, uh, I would sit with my candles, I would sit with crystals or I would just sit anywhere. Um, and, uh, and, and, and do visualizations, uh, often, uh, uh, body regulation. And, uh, and then of course, and that was, that was my primary way of, of being rested. Um, and then now later, uh, uh, and then that grew into, uh, being able to honor your own schedule, um, is the way that I find myself moving through life as the most rested. So later in life periods of deep rest for me would show up at artists' retreats when I was, uh, completely, uh, on my own time and in my own time. And, um, and found that I was completely rejuvenated when I could stop when I needed to stop and start when I needed to start. And, um, and I really cherish those, those moments of being, finding ways to be in my own time, in the same way that when the fire was talking about going to Barbados and touching down on the land and being in a time outside of time, by connecting with ancestors, by connecting with the ocean is, is trying to find ways to fit. Um, those ways we can be outside of time, to me are my most stressful times. And my most restful moments, my moments of deepest rest are when I can be on my time and in my own time.
Speaker 4:Yeah. So much of what each of you said, um, remind like, takes me back to memories of my own rest. Um, I was recently, I recently did a workshop, um, with, uh, Oh my gosh, Julia Mallory, um, of black mermaids. Um, and they actually mentioned like, Oh, that's perfect. Um, and, and she asked us all, um, what we remember like abreast as a child and rest for me was actually not, um, when, when I say rest, like being in bed and like sleeping was always a safe space for me as a child. And that was the first time that I actually realized that in that moment and to take time to just like process, that was really beautiful. Um, but I do remember times of rest where I was able to be on my own time, like you were saying, Christina, but it was usually when I was, um, outside and in nature. And I was building, um, homes with like sticks and twigs and potting, like weeds and like little wild lilies in my plant, um, in my like painted pots, um, and just able to kind of be and exist. That was moment, uh, were moments where, um, I remember being able to truly breathe and take in the moment. And also it's it's, it was moments when I was able to look up at the sky. And that's one of the signs when I know I'm deeply rested is when I'm fully taking in my environment. At first, I thought that was a cat and I was like, what[inaudible] I apologize. Great. Great. Um, so yeah, those are my fondest memories of running, um, are being outside, um, or, uh, being, being read to, and, and also reading. I loved reading too. That was a beautiful escape for me as a child. So, um, as black bodied individuals, um, how, and who told you not to harass? Um, and how did D did you hold those beliefs in your adult years? Hmm, I think, well kind of trying to make everything connect and my story. Um, when I, again, loved going out into the fields to rest as a little one, but there were a lot of times when going outside just wasn't a safe way to use my time. Um, Youngstown talked about it a lot in like over the years, I've realized how much of an impact living in this particular way has had on my adult years. So, um, back in like the nineties and the early two thousands Youngstown was, um, just a dangerous place to live and especially in the neighborhood that I lived in. And so a lot of times we, we couldn't spend time out in the fields or outside of our houses, um, for fuel or, uh, being murdered. And, um, and something that I don't really like to involve in my arrest story, or when I'm talking to people because, um, a lot of my wrists was dissociative at the time. And so I'm saying all that to say is that my environment, um, in my early years was kind of the evidence that I took that risk. Um, it was very difficult and nearly impossible. And so when I started working as an adult and moving around and becoming more independent, I took that to mean that, um, if I found a way to rest that wasn't just sleeping, but it would be challenged by the things in my environment, um, whatever they might be. Um, and that's just kind of the message, even if it wasn't true know, even if I was living in a different neighborhood or living around different people, it's still just like, that's ingrained in me that, um, it's not safe to rest. And when I first started trying to raise, um, intentionally, that was something that I really had to look at and feel comfortable with doing, um, especially outside, um, without that fear and indoors, um, just being able to recognize that chaos is possible or change is possible. Um, it's pretty universal constant. And so, um, I've had two in my adult years just learning how to live with that possibility, um, in order to rest. Um, yeah, so I think to wrap all of that up, it's just that, um, though the way in which I figured out how to rest is very deeply, um, defined by my ability to separate what's going on in the world or in my environment with what's going on in like my internal world. And like, to take a moment to talk about that more because you guys are, are y'all, excuse me, I'm trying to get out of my binary language. Um, y'all are always talking about, um, how rest is always possible. And when I first heard you all say that I was like, is it as I heard it more and more, and, and started to really take in all that, that can mean, um, it really is true that, um, if we have the practices sat and like it, and, and if, if we know what to do, then rest is possible. So that, um, about like the chaos around you, um, and growing up, um, and a place that not, might not always have been safe outside, like other places in which you can find rest, um, that that's so key. So thank you for sharing that. Cause that's the first time that I've heard your reasoning around how rest is always like always possible. And that yet, that has home. Thank you. I forgot the question you were answering it's okay. I was, um, asking how, um, we have been taught to not rest and who has told us not RAs. Got it. Okay. Cause I was very excited to be talking about the ways that as is always possible. I think in my,
Speaker 6:I had a very strong meditative practice as a young adult and, um, and often would be on the go a lot because I'm a, because I have most of my life been an independent artist, except when I got sidetracked by by day jobs. Um, and even in the course of day jobs, one of the ways that I would do that is, um, as a trick, I taught to window fire as a young person, which was your happy place creating inside of the space, which is your body of, of having places that you can get to quickly to spend a few moments and, uh, and have a strong visualization and to be in that, uh, to be in that happy place. And so in moments of great frustration, if I just stepped back and I stop for a moment and I just go to my happy place and I have a number of Winston talked about finding your happy place in a video, and everybody's happy place is different, but you create a strong visual image of a place where you would really rather be. And, um, and you go enjoy that place. My space is this beautiful lagoon in a forest that has this magnificent waterfall. That's one of my places and I just go on, I have a rock there and I go sit on my rock. Um, and that way I don't have to leave the building. I don't have to go find it for us. I just go inside of myself and I'm there and it's the place that nobody can get to, but me and it's, and it's, it's violent and nobody can bother it. And I can get there. I've trained myself over time to just go there if I need to go there. And, um, because we're not coming back to the question because we're not, uh, as black body people, uh, we're not supposed to be rested. Our, our labor belongs to the capitalist, uh, culture and society and nation that we live in. And because our labor has enriched white people tremendously. And I hate to bring people into this wonderful conversation, but, uh, cause I prefer to leave them outside of every room that I'm in with black people.
Speaker 4:I love that.
Speaker 6:But when we talk about rest practices, when we talk about how dependent they are upon our consistent on ever, ever available labor, um, finding ways to not participate are so critical, uh, whether it's being in a meeting and go into your happy place and not, uh, not offering them, uh, the responses that they so desperately required from us, uh, in the, in the course of, of a microaggression of not rising to the challenge of refusing to labor, I'm not telling them that they're very good person. I find these all very restful practices in the course of a day to day, life of refusing to engage and refusing, to work for them, refusing to offer them my anger or refusing to correct their misconceptions, um, and allow them to exist in their, in their arrogance and ignorance, um, and not taking responsibility for that. So I think, I think resting anywhere in all ways can even be a practice, um, refusing to participate. And for me growing up that, that ties in very much with, uh, clear memory I have when I was a very, a little girl and I was, I was at the very beginning of the failed post-racial experiment. And, uh, I was the only black child in a newly integrated environment. And I remember my mother very clearly explaining to me that I was, and I'm Basadur for the black race and that I had to constantly, uh, stop, explain, um, be perfect, be excellent. And until they got it to know us as good human beings, that we would never be free. And that was my responsibility. And that's not very restful thing to tell a child because, because you're always handing over your peace and solitude to others, you'll have to work twice as hard. You have to be twice as that twice as good. You have no everything in every instance, there's no moment to relax. There's no moment to slip up. And I think the society, I think this capitalistic culture built on the enslavement of black people is perpetuated in that need to integrate that need to play by, by their ever changing rules and, and, and just, and, and participate in their games and their, their illusions of adapting to, uh, to integrated world, which does not exist. And so the happy place became very significant for me in coping with that. And then letting that go, I am nobody's ambassador. Um, yeah.
Speaker 5:Yeah. So as it says in my bio, I'm 17, I'm not yet in a legal adult. I don't, I'm not a mature enough to be an adult. I'm not going to be mature enough to be an adult when I'm 18. But, um, um, I have not really been told that I can't arrest in my life. At least not told verbally that I can't rest in my life. Um, you know, I'm very fortunate that my mom, um, advocates for my needs very much so, um, and she has always done that and she always made sure that it has what I, um, that I have, what I need and that, um, my needs are met. So I've been very rested ever since I was child. Like, like I always say, um, my mom was always had me, um, breastfed, but you know, society really does tell black people that we shouldn't rest. Um, you know, we always talk about, about how racism is its primary function is to distract us. Um, you know, um, I forget who said it is it, um, this is Zora Neale Hurston, who, who said the photo now
Speaker 6:It's Tony Morrison dating. Yeah.
Speaker 5:The person who we always will is call her, um, when talking about how racism is distraction, because that's one of, um, one of her many quotes that, um, is very powerful and we very much so, um, say it, but that's such a thing in society and that's a, such a, that's such the function of race or something. You know, if you're too busy saying, Hey, I need basic human rights, then are you taking care of yourself? Um, you know, are you giving yourself to the revolution? Are you giving yourself to yourself and to your community? Um, you know, I feel like there's so many important things to do with activism, but the most important thing to do is to come back to your community and come back to yourself. And I learn, um, habits, I'm learn, um, I'm, I'm learn habits and help other people. I'm learning habits that are harmful and I'm restful, you know, are you gonna go and educate this white person? Or are you going to take that time to just take a moment to rest and breathe from everything? You know, um, if someone is like, microaggressing from you. So I feel like that's one way that society has told all black people and people of color that you can't rest is that, um, you know, you're always supposed to be productive. That's, that's something that's, that's taken in from everywhere, from, from back to just slavery, to, to the post, um, to the failed post racial experiment to, to now in the modern era is that you need to be productive and that your worth is, um, is based on your productivity. And that's something that our society tells us. Um, a lot of times, um, and sorry, my, my train of thought just went off the rails. Um, but
Speaker 4:Okay. And you're, you're coming from the, some of the, some of you approach West from a place of liberation and from a place where you've been offered opportunities to view where you're placed in the world is differently than most people. And so it's hard, it's sometimes hard for you, I think, to articulate because you live in a different reality sometimes than the majority of the world. It's sometimes hard to communicate. It's sometimes hard to communicate something that, that it's, it's like explaining to people how to breathe.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 4:And I think, um, based off of what you said, one is also like you express the point. Um, but I have to remember that too is because now that I'm learning these ways of, um, these practices talking about with people who haven't experienced them, especially within the black community, I'm going to say specific in the black community, because a lot of the things, the things we're talking about now they're specific to the black community, like being able to choose when and not, um, when to engage and when not to engage and like microaggressions that's for the black community. That's not for white folks, white folks, you always have to engage, let me be clear, always have to engage. But within the black community, there is, it feels like speaking two different languages and like where some of the words are similar and we understand each other from like a far, but it's like just enough of a difference to feel very far away and unattainable. Um, and it's something I'm learning how to like navigate. Um, however, what, what you guys were talking about, um, around resting as a form of liberation, um, and how we have been told we can't rest, um, in order to not, um, not feel, feel like what it feels like to be free. Like they, they did this when they enslaved us and kept us working so that we, we had no time to communicate with each other. We, we had to, we felt like we were stilling back moments of community and rest and love when really those were ours to begin with. We still carry that in our bodies. And then our day to day practice for me rest now looks very different than when it did three years ago, three years ago, I felt like I had to work, work, work, work in order to gain even like an hour of rest or like a day of rest. And now I work from a place of still feeling that way, but actively putting it in place that rest comes first before anything else rest becomes first because without rest, I can't do any of the other things wholeheartedly. And that's hard. It's almost like we have to reinvent the wheel. Like the sayings we created. It was like, we have to work 10 times how I'm like, I'm come up with new sales. It's like, we have to rest 10 times harder than anyone. And the idea of earning rest, you know, that you have earned, Monica says it all the time. Rest is your right breast. Is your birthright. Um, rest is reparation. Um, right. That's true. Risk is reparations. Um, we've seen that, um, in a few ways out, outside of ourselves through, um, you know, their artistic projects and social justice projects that are, uh, surrounding rests with the black power naps and then that ministry. And, uh, I, I hold on to that belief, um, again, bringing it back to the personal level because a lot of our work is intuitive and kind of from our own experiences. But, um, I see the, as a right for me in my specific communities that I've been in, because come from a family of farmers and people who have, um, worked land specifically for money and for wellbeing. And we talk about generational rest, a term that, um, black dream escape, um, follows because it's informed by epigenetics. And again, that belief that our, our body keeps these memories and keeps this score of not just our labor, but the labor of our ancestors, our moms or grandparents, um, on and on. So the idea that we are owed rest as a form of, um, justice makes sense because our bodies are not just like our present bodies, but they're, you know, they're this skin that, um, has seen a lot of work and a lot of wear and tear physically and mentally. And so now it's time to pay all of that rested back and not on our own volition, but, um, also from an outside source, my belief about rest is recreations comes from, and I think it's just important for people to know that even if we ourselves are living a restful life currently again, because, um, black folks in general and in indigenous people, haven't historically had that opportunity to rest in big ways. You've had to kind of steal it. Um, we, we have earned it, um, through the centuries. So there's no earning right now. There's only repaying. That's kinda that idea that even if anyone is struggling with, um, feeling like they need to earn rests, you've already done it in your family. Go look through your history, you've earned it. Um, if you need the feel that, um, that it, she needs a scratch that itch that, Oh, I need to work for this time. Well, you already have, so there you go. Again, I just like to remind people of that because it is hard to get over that feeling that, um, rest needs to be productive. And if you need to feel that way, then someone has already done the work for you. So you can be grateful for that and go about your way,
Speaker 3:Like to go along with what you were saying on it. Cause thank you for bringing those, like, yes, it's in our, we have built up that up. Um, um, and it's not time for us to rest. How, um, do we have patience and grace with ourselves as we learn how to rest? And also I I'm, I'm learning, this is, I still am judgmental other people when I see them practicing their arrest practices. So how do we start to kind of unpack how that's really rooted and anti-blackness and colonization?
Speaker 4:Mm mm. I look at the best practices and the ones that we promote through therapeutic lens because I'm a therapist. And so what I encourage people to do is think of rest and like a, uh, arrested person as a part of themselves, along with other parts, your anxiety, your anger on the part of you that gets depressed. The part of you that, um, wants to heal. Um, there are all these different parts of ourselves. And so I, I try to teach people that rest is just another part of you and you can name it as, um, like an entity. You really like another person in your head, but, um, Sidney rest that, uh, the few messages that it needs to hear in order to work for you is essential. And I think that's one way that we can dissolve some of those, um, inclinations to judge other people about their rest practice or the guilt that we have for resting on our own. And you think of rest as your friend or the baby that you need to take care of or the, um, the parent that, um, you decided to watch over. However you want to do it. You think of rest as a living, being in your life. I think it becomes easier to nursery and take care of it. So we all, I hear daily just from, again, being a therapist that it's hard for people, especially black women and black bodied individuals in general to take care of ourselves because we haven't an urge to take care of other people. And the reason why I encourage people to think of rest as something separate from themselves that they can feel is because it helps people to think that they're not taking care of just themselves, but someone else that someone else, even if it was in your head can be your wrist.
Speaker 3:I've never thought about it in that way, but it's only, it's almost like championing the ways, um, like championing, uh, how we were taught to be caretakers, to caretake for ourselves a little bit of like reverse psychology
Speaker 4:Because, um, the, the issue is that when we have that urge not to, um, not to take care of ourselves first it's because it's served a purpose for us is that we don't want to get rid of that feeling, or we don't wanna get rid of that ability to take care of other people. Um, so yeah, in a, in a way it's kind of like tricking yourself into doing something, but it's harm reductive in that I'm not going to force anyone. Um, when they come to me for, um, risk consultation and they're going to force anyone to change, but adapt to what you're already doing, uh, to make things work better for you kind of like the whole point of therapy in a way. Um, and hopefully, um, if anyone's in therapy right now, and this is the work that they're doing, that there's nothing wrong with you right now. And there's nothing to change or fix. Um, only everything you're doing is for purpose. And, um, it serves you for some reason, even if it's maladaptive. And so, um, when it comes to rest, I just want to take, and what black dream escape teachers, we're trying to help people understand what they have in themselves already. We don't want to develop any new skills, um, in particular because, um, new skills they're useful, but when it comes to rest, I don't think it's the time. It's the time to adapt what you already have because that's less work. And you're not trying to encourage people to work in our, um, in, in the thing that we do, we, we're trying to, um, encourage people to work less by resting. And so, um, I think I'm not saying that like learning new things or new ways to deal is a bad thing. It's just that when it comes to rest work and resting therapeutically, again, it's about adapt adaptation. I'm trying to show people that whatever they have right now is what you need. You can already rest, you breathe for five seconds, you're arresting. Um, so you have all this internal tools. You don't need to go and look for them. Um, and all of that just means that again, you can rest right now. Um, you don't have to go have to, uh, learn how to do it. Um, yeah, hang on the soap soapbox here, but, um, that's all they want to say.
Speaker 3:No, that was beautiful. Um, it reminds me, um, also of how our spirituality has shifted through the diaspora and how we have, um, it's always been within us and you can see it throughout the different ways in which black folks, um, um, hold space for different religious, spiritual practices, um, in different countries and throughout cultures. Um, but certain things are similar. Um, but how we, it's always within this, like, um, this sense of, of, um, uh, this, this magic we have within us, it shows up, um, and the tools in which
Speaker 6:We have kind of like change based off of where we're at,
Speaker 5:But, um, the ways of
Speaker 6:How do we create from what we are they have
Speaker 5:And embrace what's naturally within S that, that reminds me of that. And I think grass is a form of magic. Thank you. Breast is full blue magic, like you said. Um, I totally agree with that. Rest is definitely magic because something bad, a lot of people are at, I feel like the definition of magic is something that people gloss over and people like magic. That's making things happen where they possibly could, and that's things that are real, that are happening. But, um, my mom was always taught me about magic as the act of changing consciousness at will. Um, you know, getting into a different altered state is very important with a lot of magical practices, but some not so much, but, um, with a lot of them, it's very important. And in rest, you can go into a trance like state and rest. You can receive messages from, from your ancestors, from spirit guides, from, um, lots of different things through breasts. You can have premonitions, you can have, you can see the through future through rest. Um, there's so much that, um, like you said, it's magical about rest. Um, and you know, a lot of magic is healing. Some of it is painful, but a lot of magic is healing. Um, and you know, rest is crucial to healing, crucial to anyone's healing because always when you're sick, you need to, to rest, um, you need to breasts to fully get the benefits of, of what happens. Um, that's all I have. I'm not going to try and scratch it out.
Speaker 6:I think that's alive for, um, for, for wind. The fire is, is growing up in a magical household and in a household that has strong faith, but not some who have external magic than that thing that you said that lives within all black people, our ability to change consciousness at will and tissue to shape our surroundings when even when under duress. And so if we imagine what we have been able to accomplish, when we have been under duress, imagine how much more is possible to accomplish through rest and how powerful, how much power we can exert over our consciousness and over ourselves, even through, uh, through rest. You know, when you do biofeedback, for example, you have to enter a meditative state and meditation, a form of rest add to that, um, is to setting your, your mind, setting your body, putting yourself at ease, allows your, your, your, your highest self to take over and give direction. And, and, and it is through your highest self that you can make the most connections to the best of all possible energies that are available at all times all around us, just sitting around, waiting to help.
Speaker 4:Yeah. And that's, um, that takes surrender. And that is very hard for us. Black folks to do is surrender because we don't know what safe surrender or CA looks like or surrender and looks like most of the time. Um, and that's a part of how rest, how, how not being able to rest has been used and weaponized against us, because it does, it keeps us in this state of always trying to, to survive, survive, survive. And so we can't take the time to fully sit back, be present and surrender. And the laulau, you know, this, this beautiful expiration in higher self to happen, to see all the possibilities they, um, not, um, not being able to rest has been weaponized against us in order to keep us from, you know, being in the present and going to our higher self and really looking at all the possibilities. Um, that's exactly what this is and that, um, how, how, uh, black bodied individuals, we have not always been able or given the opportunity to understand what surrender looks like, um, and safe spaces without manipulation, um, and without us being used, um, and siphoned from. And so
Speaker 6:I also think part of that is generational memory is intergenerational memory is ancestral memory because, uh, because when we do truly turn inward to ourselves, there has always been retribution. And I think we, as black people will judge each other resting, or we will judge, uh, different forms of activism, uh, reactive activism. Um, I view of you rest as a sort of proactive activism in that, in, in that it's, it's white, people are going to white and there's nothing I can do to control that all that I can do is control myself and all that I can do. And, and, and Winston talks about this when the, when the fire talks about this a lot in that, uh, that, um, that living our best and most happiest life is the most revolutionary thing we can do, because that is the thing that is least expected of us. And so resting is proactive activism in that you are planning to win regardless of what they are planning to do about your way.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 6:And so, and we saw, you know, we saw, we see, tell us, so we see the move bombings, we see how the black Panthers were infiltrating. We see Rosewood, we see every, any number of black thriving and the way in which it has been viewed as intolerable. And I think there is a portion of our community that is afraid to thrive. That is, is that is afraid of what will happen if we don't push back. And, and so I think there are so many different ways to confront this, this system that we all live under and all of those ways are valid, necessary, and exceptionally important. However, in order to do some of the reactive activism or activism is, is to care for the toll that it takes on your body and care for the toll it takes on your time and care for the toll. It takes on your spirit and care for the toll it takes just in your life. When you are, when you're out in the streets, necessarily protests balance must. We must, we must begin to align ourselves with being imbalanced. So, uh, if you're going to be, if you're going out a lot, as much time to being out as you're going to a lot to be in, in, so when you come in from a protest, what's the first thing they want to do when to fire. Whereas when you cut, when, when you come in from a protest, what is the first thing you want to do? You know,
Speaker 3:I'm blanking, okay. Clean yourself off, clean yourself off from all the energy, all of, um, everything that's happened. Yeah. Clean yourself off. Okay.
Speaker 6:That energy, before you come in, your doors thrash all that energy off of you, leave it outside, right. Then nourish yourself, hydrate yourself, be in that body that took you out, right. That body carried you out into the street. So now you need to come be in it and nourish it hydrated. And, and then take time to reflect not on being out of yourself, but being in yourself. And you can do that through meditation or rest or napping, any breathing, visualizing, putting light around yourself, building up your protective, uh, energy, thank your ancestors. Um, these are all ways of being inside of ourselves. So I guess what I'm suggesting is, is it is important or find somebody who can help you do those things, right? Find somebody who can help you care for yourself, you know, go, go watch a black dream escape video, you know, go, go, go to our Instagram page and scroll through the affirmations. Uh, sit three, you know, there's so many, it's, the menu is a buffet. There's a buffet of restful activities that you can do to be in, um, and avail yourself of that, especially if you're going to be out there
Speaker 3:For sharing all those resources. Um, and actually that kind of goes into the next part of, can you tell us, um, more about your thought pathways series, the lullaby sessions, and then your rests assessments. I know arnica had to go off actually to, um, a client, but, um, if we could talk a little bit about what
Speaker 6:It does with the rest assessments too, that would be lovely. Okay. I w I would actually love to, I'm going to actually take the lead here because I would like to, I'm very excited about the statement that we came up with about thought pathways. And, uh, I would like to just share that statement, cause I think it's really important for people to, to understand. And of course I can't find it. It's so funny. Uh
Speaker 3:That's okay. We get a video cause we have the definition for thought pathways and already two videos.
Speaker 6:We really, we really, um, we really spent so much time thinking about exactly precisely what we wanted to say about that pathways, because I just love the wording that we came up with here. It is thought pathways, reject racist and capitalists notions of ownership and hierarchy as evidenced by a culture in which self help is commodified by experts and gurus, ancestral knowledge and or common sense has been turned into a profitable, easily consumable product. The American self-help market isn't estimated$9.9 billion annually. So black dream escape coined this phrase, thought pathways to make it clear that we are human beings on our own journey and that we celebrate critical thinking and spiritual knowing. And more importantly, that we honor process over product. So black game escape is not sitting here trying to set ourselves up as some guru or expert. Everything that we offer comes out of our own experience comes out of our own ways of knowing and more importantly, suggest and invite the people who, who join us to develop their own thought pathways and develop their own rest practice, uh, out of the many offerings and thoughts that we share from our own experience, um, so that they can make it their own best is a deeply personal, deeply personal thing. And your best practice is yours and yours alone. And it is up to you and it is your own responsibility. So we've gotta begin to move out of this consumer mindset around spirituality, around rest, around self healing. We can just run down to the new age shop and buy a smudge stick and take it out of culture, context, and history and wave it around our, our house and, and think we've done something important. A spiritual practice of rest practice is something one develops and works on. It's not worth but attend to
Speaker 5:This is why we call it thought pathways. I mean, we already give the definition, but like the mini, um, a literal meaning of it is, you know, thought pathways is a series that we have on our YouTube, which is black room escape. Um, it videos of us and people that we bring onto the show explaining the pathways that their thoughts go down to on breastfeeding and certain concepts of breast. Um, and so everybody is different. Everybody's different. Everybody has a different destiny. Everybody is a different person. Everybody, some people are similar. Some people are very similar to a T, but everyone is different. And we all think differently. We all might think in a similar way, but there's no possible way that we have thought the exact same thoughts. So we might have some thought the exact same thoughts, but there's no, there's no saying that we've experienced it the same. And so, um, yeah, the videos are all about that. The pathways that our thoughts go down and how we experienced rest and ways that, that we experienced these concepts and, and utilize these concepts into our own practice.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I would definitely recommend everyone check them out on YouTube. I've actually used them to fall asleep too, because hearing y'alls voices is very soothing for me. Um, but then also to ha um, to listen to black folks talking about resting, um, just puts me in the mindset of like, okay, you are say, you can surrender. And like gay put, puts me up, like, you know, leads me into this wonderful journey into my sleep. So I would highly recommend thought pathways, the series. Um, and you guys, congratulations, you guys just, um, started working on building a whole set, um, for, for, I think for the next round of thought pathways, or at least like, just for, um, your videos in general, which I think it's going to be amazing. I'm really looking forward to it. Um, and, uh, Oh, and then the lullaby sessions, can you, can you say more about that? I also have done one of those with you,
Speaker 5:Uh, um, on our website, um, you can, which is black javascript.com. You can find, um, our different practices and different things that we offer. Um, one of the things that we offer is a lullaby session where you can book me Anaqua or both of us. And, um, we can sing you some songs, um, before, before you go to bed in the morning or in the afternoon, it's really anytime that you have time and any time that we have time, um, to, to do this together and, and rest together. Um, and, uh, you know, w we can send you some original songs. We can pick out songs for you, or you can, you can pick a song yourself, you can pick multiple songs, there's yourself. Um, and that's what we do. Um, that's our, that's our little by sessions, and I think those are pretty cool. Same to you.
Speaker 6:That's beautiful is, is that, um, you don't always have, you know, you don't always have someone who can, you can share love with and, and have seen, you know, a lovely lullaby. And so that's, it's, it's so necessary, um, to, so, um, and it's, it's, it's fun to know that there's somebody out there who will sing you, who will sing you sing to you into rest. And I know that was a big part of Linda fire's growing up. Cause when the fire had a whole bedtime routine, uh, growing up where I would sing to him and, uh, I even wrote him his own lullaby. And, um, and, and, and music is a, is a big part of it. It's part of something that speaks to our childhood selves is, is, uh, having that soft, gentle music playing when we're going to sleep. And, and, uh, so much of what they do with their lullabies are try to hit musically the tones that, um, that will evoke that, that will evoke that restfulness in you, um, to make me feel loved and nurtured, I guess I'll, I'll speak to the rest assessments if that's okay. Uh, also people, uh, Anika who was, is the therapist and, uh, and she will take time to, um, walk you through different ideas about your own personal rest. How are you sleeping? Where are you sleeping? What's what is it like, um, what are your obstacles? And she'll help you develop a plan to begin to incorporate and develop your own rest practice. Um, and she'll take an assessment of where you're at, um, where you can be ideas about where you can go and how to get there and what, what some of your obstacles are. And it's very, very helpful to, uh, just get a, it's like a little, like a little rest checkup, but loving and supporting and, and, and not in a position of judgment. Uh, I think something that's so important about where we try to be is to be in a place of non-judgment and to be in a place of, of whole picture, whole person.
Speaker 5:I love, um, the assessments, cause they're, they're very brief. It's like 15 minutes. Um, you can go on black dream, escape.com and sign up for one. Um, they are free, but you, if you have capacity, you can make
Speaker 3:A donation to black dream escape. Um, but at the end of it, Anaqua sent me an email with, um, affirmations that I can say to myself to continue the practice. And then, um, Anaqua checked up on me later on. I think it was like two weeks after, like two to three weeks after checked up on me. Um, so it is like, it's like a little like checkup and then in the best kind of in the best kind of way. Um, so I recommend that, um, all the folks listening on this podcast go to black dream escape and check that out. Also follow y'all on Facebook and IgG and YouTube. So you can stay up to date on all the thought pathways series. Um, I know you guys sometimes do live IGS too. Um, since you, the community finally got an IgE, so we will be like following all of those. Um, and also, um, this season, we are doing a BiPAP celebration giveaway. Um, we wanted to show gratitude and support for, um, our BiPAP folks that listen to the show. So if you post on, uh, on IgE and or Facebook, a picture of yourself resting, um, and your favorite quote from this episode and tag black dream escape, and since youth community, um, your handle will actually be put in a drawing for a free 30 minute, low by session, um, with Anaqua or when the fire. So make sure you guys, um, do that. We can't wait to see all your pictures and I'm really excited to bring, um, the BioPack celebration giveaway, uh, your way. Uh, is there anything else you guys want to, when they say, how, how are you feeling now? Are you still feeling rested or not rested? So, ah, I dunno. I'm feeling energized. Um, yeah, this is great. This is truly amazing. Um, thank you so much for having us on. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, this is, this has been a joy and I've just gleamed. So many like little pearls of wisdom. I'm gonna take with me throughout the, throughout the rest of the day. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you and things. And they get Ana and Christina as well. I think they, they they've both parted cause they had to be some other places, but it's been such a pleasure. That's it? Yo, that's a show big thank you to black dream escape for providing us with the intro and outro music for season two. We sincerely love you and hope rest comes to us all and big thank you to Vesta
Speaker 1:For producing our small but mighty podcast. This show is powered by the people made the abundance. Come back to you and spread like wildfire. Sunseap community is a space to practice collective healing. We do this through workshops, body, and energy work, taro individual container building, and this podcast to learn more book us and support us, visit sensate community that come and follow us on the IgG or Facebook at since EAD community bio
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